I have always found it interesting to explore old graveyards and cemeteries over the years. Not only can you learn something about who is buried there, but you can also find a little poetic justice, irony, and humor. Epitaphs, inscriptions on stones or monuments that commemorate the person buried there, have always been fascinating because they have been used to honor, vilify, and even humor those who are dead for the benefit of the living who reads them. They also provide valuable information about an individuals' life, social status, family and the time period they lived in. Gravestone art also reflects a change in attitudes towards death, starting from the early fatalistic Puritanical points of view to the more romantic Victorian perspectives. Epitaphs have been found on gravestones as early as Greek and Roman times and earlier Egyptian sarcophagi and coffins.

Many or perhaps most epitaphs are serious such as this one example from the private Lansing Burial Ground that was located on their house site in Lansingburgh:

"Erected to the memory of
Catherine Lansing
Consort of Levinus Lansing
Who departed this life
March 26, 1822
Aged 70 yrs, 1 mo & 10 days

Say what the Mother, wife & friend should be,
In this imperfect slab, and that was she.
Kind Angels watch her sleeping dust
Till Jesus comes to raise the just
Then may she wake with sweet surprise
And in her Saviours image rise.

Many people have collected epitaphs that are a bit different and there are a number of books published that feature the funny ones. I offer a few of my favorites.

Here's one from Falkirk, England dated 1690:

Here lie the bones of Joseph Jones
Who ate while he was able.
But once overfed, he dropt down dead
And fell beneath the table.
When from the tomb, to meet his doom,
He arises amidst sinners.
Since he must dwell in heaven or hell,
Take him - whichever gives the best dinners.

On the death of Ezekiel Pease from Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Pease is not here,
Only his pod
He shelled out his Peas
And went to his God

Here's one that stung:

In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

How about a little irony from the stone of Ellen Shannon, buried in Girard, Pennsylvania:

In loving memory of Ellen Shannon, aged 55,
Who was fatally burned
March 21, 1870
by the explosion of a lamp
filled with "R.E. Danforth's
Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

Or how about a couple close to home. From the stone of Harry Edsel Smith of Albany:

Born 1903 - Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down.
It was.

And in Vail Cemetery in Schenectady:

He got a fish-bone in his throat
and then he sang an angel note.

Here is some justice for someone buried in Thurmont, Maryland:

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

Only in America could you find the next one. This is from the stone of Elizabeth Rich of Eufala, Alabama:

Honey you don't know
what you did for me,
Always playing the lottery.
The numbers you picked
came in to play,
Two days after you passed away.
For this,
a huge monument I do erect,
For now I get a yearly check.
How I wish you were alive,
For now we are worth 8.5

Since I realize that some day I will go the way of those before me, I have been trying to find the perfect epitaph for my own headstone. Here are my top ten selections so far:

10. So where's the thermostat?

9. Now do you believe me?

8. Hey, watch where you're standing!

7. I may be here, and you are there,
But the day will come
When the ground we'll share!

6. Death isn't what it's cracked up to be!

5. I do remember asking for the top bunk!

4. I may be stiff, or burned to ashes,
But one thing's certain,
I don't need glasses.

3. At least I won't be getting anymore junk email!

2. He saved old buildings, and the Pine Bush past,
but the bottom line is he couldn't save his own a**!

And my number one pick for my headstone:

1. All things considered, I'd rather be standing where you are!