In his most recent column, Record columnist John Scanlon called me the "Apostle of Preservation." Since this crown comes from the wise and longtime sage of the Record, I humbly accept that title with honor. Furthermore, having my name associated with anything close to religion has to be a first in my lifetime, although there have been times when what appeared to be religious names were directed at me, but I digress.

Like any apostle then I must go out among the masses and promote my religion and recruit for my flock. So, with my new found duties, I am presenting to you my very own set of "Ten Commandments" - for preservation, of course. You must follow them religiously if you want to enter that heavenly restored historic site in the sky.

As you would expect, there are some stiff penalties for not obeying these laws and I include them as well. A few of the penalties are worse than a stay at that heated permanent hotel down under!

1. Thou shalt have no ugly vanilla boxes replacing historic buildings in the kingdom of Troy. You will strive to preserve and protect our flock of historic sites in the city.

Penalty. A week in an office room of an unnamed drug store chain decorated in the style of the 70's with a constant stream of disco fever blaring over the loudspeakers.

2. Thou shalt not replace original brick facades with cheap aluminum siding, or bay windows, or, heaven's forbid, stucco. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is not historically compatible.

Penalty. You will have to wear one of those ugly 1970's three-piece, green, pointed-collar suits, with two inch heels, in public for a week, or host a toga party.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of historic taste and paint the facade of a historic building in bright yellow, camouflage green, or Barney purple, for I will not hold him guiltless that taketh his brush in vain.

Penalty. One week of sitting and staring at a lava lamp, or watching a marathon of old reruns of The Monkees!.

4. Honor thy history and its products, for those that ignore history are bound to repeat its failures; that thy days may be long upon the politicians who do the right thing.

Penalty. Listening to a year's worth of the city's planning commission meetings on tape in the common council chamber, and uttering the phrase, "What did he say," at least 100 times.

5. Thou shalt not tear any more buildings down just because they are old; your mantra will become "rehab not remove. Old is better than new."

Penalty. Looking at hundreds of baby pictures of your enemies and admitting they look cute.

6. Thou shalt not steal....Troy's history... by entering abandoned buildings and ripping everything out that you think will get you big bucks on eBay, or those antique shops in San Francisco, New York, and New Orleans.

Penalty. Hard time at the local jail and becoming the mantra for the local preservation community, not to mention the girlfriend of your cell mate.

7. Thou shalt not kill...preservation efforts...to restore Troy's history and make the city a heritage destination for millions of tourists in the coming years.

Penalty. You will have to spend one week sitting in Barker park viewing film footage and photographs of the 70's demolition of downtown Troy.

8. Thou shall spread the word of preservation throughout the city and by contacting your council member or mayor and urging them to do the right thing.

Penalty. You will have nightmares and flashbacks of politics in Troy during the 60's to 90"s.

9. Thou shall become part of the flock by joining the Hudson Mohawk Industrial Gateway or other preservation groups and volunteering your time.

Penalty. Imagine Troy looking like downtown Schenectady. Isn't that punishment?

10. Thou shalt not commit adulteration of interiors of historic sites, for thy inside is as important as thy outside.

Penalty. Becoming the tour guide in the old Knights of Columbus building on Third street, or forced to take a week's lodging at any old cheap motel.

P.S. As soon as I get a rehab grant from the city, I'll restore an old building and hold services every Wednesday. In the meantime, Keep the Faith!